Living With Purpose: A New Chapter

me summer bw

Every single one of us has a service and a purpose. Here lies an interesting fact: the messier our lives are/have been, the more we have to offer by way of service.

This means we’ve had more opportunities to learn, grow, and evolve. Now, that evolution never stops, but we don’t have to wait until we are at the end of our lives to say, “This is what I’ve learned and I’m ready to share with you.” Ultimately, every day there is something new to explore and learn from and grow from.

Sometimes we may find that our purpose is to be a voice for those who cannot speak. Our stories may mirror someone else’s in some aspects, and by speaking our own truths and living our truths we are giving others the opportunity to do the same.

This is where empathy and compassion play a huge part. Our experiences allow us to feel compassion for those who are also hurting and who feel they have lost their way. We can empathize with people who feel they have lost hope.

People want to feel safe, and there is a feeling of safety in knowing that an individual is not alone in their experiences because someone else has been through the same thing and has survived and healed and/or become empowered.

Empowerment is simply remembering who we are, living and speaking our truths, and living our purpose. By doing that, we remove the old stories that we’ve told ourselves about our past experiences that no longer serve us – stories and actions that we no longer need for survival because now we get to choose to thrive.

I asked a friend the other day, “Why would anyone want to listen to what I have to say, as messy as my life has been? Who am I to help others?” I was then reminded that my experiences, my voice, and my path of service is EXACTLY what someone is needing and looking for.

I was encouraged to remember who I am, why I am, what I am here for. I am exactly at a place in my own journey where I need to be. This is the next jumping point toward the next chapter in my life, which includes YOU, the reader of this blog post.

I always thought I had to know everything, do everything, and that my life had to be perfect before I could even attempt to live my purpose, share my story, and help others.

I have learned that it is more powerful when we can help people while in the midst of our own struggles. We are all playing this game of life together and in turn we get to teach each other.

When we are ready, when the pain of suppressing ourselves can no longer be borne, we get to choose to climb out of that dark cavern of fear, shame, unworthiness, guilt, anger, and frustration. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel those emotions again, but we can recognize that those are signs where we have more work to do, and we get to choose to heal (sometimes with the entire world watching)…so we might as well have fun while we are doing it.

Whether we are celebrating our successes or dealing with broken relationships, feeling despair and sorrow, bliss or whatever might be showing up, every single one of those situations creates a beautiful chapter in life.

In fact, I think the messier the better; that means there is more emotion involved, there is more color added to your picture. There is more contrast and depth.

For the longest time I didn’t know why I had to live this life I was living – a life of fear and self-loathing and feelings of unworthiness; feeling I wasn’t good enough or smart enough, and very fearful of anyone who was angry or had an angry countenance. I was afraid to skip school; I was afraid of doing anything bad. I was terrified of crossing the line.

I lived my entire life suppressing my truth, suppressing myself, and playing small because I didn’t want to make other people feel bad. I lived my life not speaking what I wanted to say, not expressing myself or not setting boundaries because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I didn’t want to speak and have people think I wasn’t smart enough, to have them think I was stupid; I also didn’t want them to think I was smarter than they were, because that might make them feel less than. Suppressing all that created many of my health problems.

I’ve had shingles twice; I’ve experienced chronic bronchitis and hoarseness. The nine years I lived in Alaska I had pneumonia 1-2 times a year, and I’d often lose my voice because I wasn’t using it in the way that I should have been. I don’t remember ever having a month that was free of wheezing and feeling ill. The time for all that is over.

Through numerous dark nights of the soul (and I’ve had many), every time I came out of those dark places I felt more myself. I felt more of who I truly was. In a way, I regret waiting so long to be able to speak my truth and say what I wanted to say in the way I wanted to say it, or do what I wanted to do. However, when I look back, every single experience I had brought me to this point where I have less fear about speaking, sharing who I am, and why I do what I do.

I have felt the Universe physically pushing me, telling me that it’s time. The signs are everywhere…it is time. The biggest impetus, and the biggest sign that it’s time to live my purpose.

Today marks the next step in the journey.

I may flounder a bit on the way, but that’s good, because I’ve always said that I wanted to be a lifelong student and wanted to learn something new every day…and part of learning is stumbling (and picking myself back up again).

Whether I learn through my experiences (ugly or pretty), videos, books, mentors or clients, or pitfalls and backward steps and forward-moving baby steps, I will remember that it is all worthwhile if it means speaking my truth and living my purpose while serving others.

So, let’s get messy together, shall we?

Coming soon: I am developing a mastery course to complement my Reiki practice, and it will be available shortly. There will be some other projects in the works that will soon be revealed as well.

I’d be honored to have you join me on this journey!

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