Becoming The “Holy Sh*t” Version of Yourself


musician-664432_1920

Greetings!

I took a short hiatus from writing blog posts, as I was having to empty my storage unit (fun!) and organize, sort, remove, purge…all the exciting things that go along with decluttering and re-energizing.

Additionally, I attended a second virtual meditation retreat that took me much more deeper into myself than the first one I did in May. (More on that later.)

What I’ve found is that even though I thought I stopped a particular behavior, I truly didn’t. And what might that be?

Perfection Paralysis. If I can’t do something perfect, I won’t do it.

Full stop.

Oh, there are times when I embrace vulnerability, but in some instances I do not. You know, fear of being seen, of NOT being seen, of being ridiculed, of being ostracized, of people thinking I don’t know what I’m doing, the possibility of LOSING followers, friends, acquaintances, possible clients (and the list goes on…).

But, NOT being wholly vulnerable and trusting in myself kept me from being my “Holy Sh*t Self!”

So, in the interest of being fully vulnerable and transparent, here is a video of this exact topic.

*Side note: I always said, for decades, I’d rather eat ground up glass than speak publicly. It was beyond fear, it was terror. Here I am being fully vulnerable!

I’ve been doing videos with card readings and general topics; each one gets better. The first ones suck! LOL! However, instead of judging myself, I just keep doing them, keep practicing, and keep getting better. Now, I enjoy doing them! I do know I need practice speaking, to slow down my speech sometimes, and remove those “um’s”!

Sometimes I stutter, or seem to stumble. It’s because: 1. I read faster than I speak, and 2. my mind is much faster than my mouth! And, sometimes so much information wants to come through me that it’s hard to keep up with this wisdom! 🙂

Having said all that, enjoy my vulnerability. I sure do!

Don’t forget, the world needs YOU to be your “Holy Sh*t Self!”

Watch:

Your “Holy Sh*t Self”

 

How to ReWrite Your Inner Dialogue


Inner dialogue photo

I don’t know about you, but I have an inner dialogue that pretty much chatters 24/7/365.

My mind is rarely quiet. In fact, there are diatribes, novels, essays, theses and editorials swimming around along with my creative ideas and grand dreams.

I had to learn to change my inner dialogue. The conversations I listened to and heeded at the time were not always from a state of consciousness; instead, they came from indwelling fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, and depression.

Often, we learn these stories and thoughts in childhood. Alternatively, we can learn these while in abusive relationships and in times of duress and anxiety. We fail to remember our true nature.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not worthy.”

“He/she is right, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I am a failure.”

“I am weak.”

“I’m not pretty/handsome enough.”

And here is the kicker – the constant litany of negative self-talk creates a vicious cycle. Our less-than-positive conversations cause us to feel anxiety or depression. The anxiety or depression or anger causes us to re-feed our mind with the negative narrative. It’s a downward spiral.

To put it simply, your inner conversation is your ego having a conversation with yourself. (Click to Tweet) And when you are in survival mode, that is when your ego is in full swing.

Let’s face it – our egos love a good drama or two! It’s all about fight or flight. Oh yeah, mental fisticuffs! Now, that’s all good and well when one is truly in a dangerous situation. But when someone is stuck in fight or flight mode for weeks, months, even decades, not only does the physical health suffer, but so does the mental/emotional health.

How can we work to change our inner dialogue?

1. It takes awareness. We must be in the present. We have to pay attention to our thoughts on a consistent basis. Truly, I was surprised when I started this practice of being present and actually HEARD myself! The first day I practiced conscious attention, I was SHOCKED at my language. No wonder I felt unworthy, less-than, and downright terrified of being seen. It felt like a non-stop 24-hour reel that looped with the same tired, old, negative, self-abusive phrases.

Conscious presence does take some practice, and it will take some time…especially for someone who hasn’t exercised the “presence” muscle before.

2. Once you have noticed your thoughts, change them! I have often caught myself thinking something negative and would have to immediately tell myself, “Stop, rewind, cancel.” Then I replace the negative talk with something positive.

For example, a common phrase that I’d say to myself was “that was SO stupid!.” Now, I know I’m not stupid, but the was something that was ingrained in me for decades, either verbally or emotionally. But, as soon as I NOTICED that I said it, I’d replace it with, “Wow, that was a great learning experience!” or “Gee, that was an interesting idea/action.”

Once concept that has helped me is to remain curious. For example, “I wonder what the outcome of this will be if I think/feel that?” Or, “How can I turn this negative sentence into a positive one?”

3. Affirmations. If you are a fan of affirmations, you’ll love this step! This is simply a practice of using positive affirmations on a daily basis. They will increase your positive feelings and lift your energy. They don’t need to be lengthy or philosophical in nature. Just get into the habit of creating a positive inner language.

If you wish, you can write down affirmations that feel right to you. If you want to take it a step further, you can record yourself reciting positive affirmations and replay several times throughout the day.

Sometimes, I’ll go to YouTube and turn on affirmations and meditations to fall asleep to. One of my favorites is “I AM Affirmations by Hakim.” (Please show him some love by clicking on the link!)

4. Remember who you truly are. This is paramount, especially when it comes to healing. YOU are a Divine Being. YOU are the one who, through your language, thoughts, and feelings, can create or re-create the life you dream of. It all starts from within.

It’s not difficult to re-write our internal dialogue, but it does take practice, perseverance, and patience. Most of all, we get to practice being wholly present with ourselves.

Watch what happens when you start speaking a new language…you will be pleasantly surprised!

Becoming the Artist of Your Life


artist collage
You, as a Divine soul in a human body, are an artist, as well as Divine artwork.
You, operating in this human body, are the designer holding the paintbrush or the sculptor molding the clay. But what are you creating?
Is your life feeling like a black and white cartoon, devoid of color and depth? Or, is your life feeling like a lump of clay?
Oh, you’ve pushed, prodded, pulled, pinched, extruded, and thrown the clay in the hopes of building something beautiful, but the clay didn’t cooperate. Most likely, it was because the mind was taking over the artistic process.
Have you noticed that masterpieces are brought forth from the heart, and not necessarily the mind? Although the heart and mind must work cooperatively, the true artwork is from your center…your heart. (Click to tweet)
As artists (and we are all artists), we create from emotions. The energy from our feelings gives way to the motions of creation, no matter the artistic medium used.
Some of the most spectacular pieces of art are created from a place of pain, sorrow, rage, or fear. However, before those pieces could be created, the artist needed to feel. They needed to emerge from a state of numbness or stasis. They had to get to a point where they could transmute the energy into physical movements. They had to get to a point where they could transmute the energy into physical movements.
Those movements could in fact be painting, drawing, cooking, writing, meditating, singing or dancing. The point is, the energy needs to FLOW.
It is time to express. It is time to begin the journey beyond the mind. Harness the power inside you, for it is waiting to join this dance called life.
The time is now to bring your masterpiece alive.
I’d love to know how YOU are creating your masterpiece!
If you are unsure where to even start, or feel like you are in a rut or feel powerless, please leave a comment. You are not alone; I and our other readers are all here to support and encourage.
I see you, Artist.

Creating Treasures from Trauma


treasure-boxThat title caught your eye, didn’t it?

No, I’m not making light of anyone’s personal traumas. However, I invite you to look into the gifts that trauma or painful situations bring.

When an animal has passed on, it’s hide is used to create a drum. Shamanic drums, for example, are created from hides that have been blessed (and a prayer or chant of gratitude is given to the animal, as well as to the other materials involved).

The animal’s passing, whether intentional or not, created a beautiful instrument that would be used in spiritual and healing rituals. When I envision this, I see the animal’s essence connecting to the divine and creating a healing vibration, felt physically and spiritually.

Consider the oyster. When an irritant works its way inside the shell, the oyster will protect itself by secreting layers of nacre onto the irritant. It takes a while, it’s a process, but the end result is a beautiful pearl.

But what about humanity? Where can we find the treasures from our own traumas? (Click to Tweet)

Personally, I can tell you that traumatic situations are not easy, nor comfortable. Your life has been turned upside down and you don’t know which way you are going. You feel lost, scared, and all you can see around you is a dark tunnel in which you feel every painful emotion like a knife in the heart…and you have no idea when it will stop.

You lose your balance. You’ve lost all sense of purpose. You can’t even see your next step. You shout at the powers that be, “WHY!??!!” Your soul seems to be lost in a constant scream of despair.

You wonder what you will do now. Sometimes you stumble blindly, sometimes you fall. Sometimes you are able to pick yourself back up. (And when you can’t, someone usually shows up to help you.)

But then, when you least expect it, a little sliver of light appears. It gradually (over time) grows larger and larger. You find that you had the strength to stand after all. Then, you realize that there are moments appearing that spark a little joy.

Teachers (in all forms) appear. They could be humans, or animals, or even Divine beings. Additionally, teachers appear in the form of art, books and music.

In fact, you could be sitting at a coffee shop and overhear a particularly enlightening conversation or phrase that is just what you needed to hear at that moment.

What are the treasures, then?

Ahhh, here’s the beauty of alchemy. I learned to turn: fear into courage

anger into calmness

self doubt into empowerment

sadness into joy

rejection into self-love

despair into faith

It didn’t happen overnight. It took years, actually. Many years.

However, the most prized treasure I received was the ability to be grateful for every moment I lived in that dark underbelly of the beast. Gratitude for every baby step I took, for every slip and fall, and gratitude for the strength that I found inside me.

I even found gratitude for every abuse heaped upon me and every awful thing said or done to me. Gratitude even toward those strangers who thought that I deserved to be treated less than the extraordinary being that I AM.

No matter what you may be going through at this time, know that treasures abound, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

What is in YOUR treasure box?

How to Keep Balance in Turbulent Times


jump-863058_1920It’s quite obvious that nowadays, life all over the planet has taken a turn in an interesting direction.

Without investing a lot of time on the havoc that appears to be at hand (job losses, illness, stress, anxiety, fear, lack of movement), it would be well to note that in the midst of the turmoil lie pockets of peace, community compassion and a sense of togetherness (even in the presence of separation).

So, how can we separate ourselves from the anxiety, worry and fear that is every pervasive? Clearly, some are having a more difficult time than others; but let’s look at some practices that can help smooth the bumpy ride.

1.Remain present.

I know, trust me, sometimes this can be a challenge, especially when we are deep in our minds and overthinking, processing, and analyzing. Worrying about “what ifs” can certainly take us out of the present.

Focus on the now. It is important that we stop and breathe. For example: I meditate every day for at least an hour. I tell my mind that it is free to let go of worrying thoughts and insecure feelings about the future. All those will be available after meditation, if it wants to pick them up again. (Usually, it doesn’t.)

During meditation, my mind is never completely empty for an hour. I only wish! However, I do focus on my breathing, practice breathwork, and go deep inside.

This past week, I’ve been meditating outside in the sun. I currently live in a townhouse, so there are neighbors and noises on both sides of me in the courtyards. One gentleman next door has a puppy (oh, how I wish I had a significant other that would talk to me like he does to that precious little furbaby, but I digress); I can easily remain present meditating in non-silent surroundings. I invite the sounds of nature to chime in – bees buzzing, insects flying, songbirds chirping, and seagulls crying.

I feel the warm, smooth wood of the deck under my bare feet. I take notice of the warm the sun is giving me as it shines down onto my skin. Sometimes, I imagine the flowers communicating amongst themselves. Now, even though this is going on around me and inside me, I am still able to be present. (And nature always takes precedence in my thoughts over politics and other lower energy situations.)

After meditating, I strive to take that peace and presence with me throughout the rest of my day and stay in the knowing that all really is well. Sometimes I’m bouncing all over the place. However, I always go back “home” to the present, breathe, and remind myself that there is only NOW.

2.Remain in the flow.

Life is energy. It naturally ebbs and flows.

Think of the tides, sunrise/sunset, moonrise/moonset, birth/transition/rebirth, storms and fair weather, summer/winter, planting/harvest, gain/loss. All of life moves in waves.

Part of our journey is embracing the ability to ride the waves, no matter how small or large they may be. This requires patience. It also gives us the opportunity to release an expectation of outcomes. This may be a bit challenging for some (me), as I do like to be in control.

Nevertheless, there is some comfort in the knowledge that everything changes, moves and flows. And there is some solace that the only true permanent aspect we can rely on is change.

Think of it this way, we are all surfing through this moment in time, and we get to practice riding the waves standing up, sitting down, and we even get to fall once in a while. And it’s all right.

3.Journal.

No! It’s not silly! I do it! (Yes, I do! Every day!)

Journaling is a wonderful way to express our feelings, especially if we feel we don’t have the supportive ear of someone who understands.

Writing down our worries or stresses releases them from our body; it also gives us a chance to go back and see where those emotions are coming from.

It may be that we have some inner healing to do; perhaps there are some triggers that need to be addressed from childhood. It is possible that difficulty staying balanced during these current times could stem from fears and anxieties that have yet to be brought to the surface, processed, and released.

Additionally, for me, writing allows me to come up with solutions for issues that I would like answers for. Often, while writing, I’ll get a sudden inspiration or resolution for something that I’ve been wanting an answer for.

Sometimes it’s an instant “how to,” or a topic I need to address, or a long-hidden memory that has created an unhealthy filter through which I may be looking through.

Journaling, in a sense, helps me wash my dirty windows so that I can see, think, and feel from a space of deeper clarity.

Remember, the energy you put forth creates your reality. YOU are the creator…of the present and the future. YOU get to decide if you want to practice the art of balance. And no one will judge you for it.

It’s your journey.

Enjoy!

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There’s No Need to Look for Love, We ARE Love


love recoloredI begin each day with some reading, meditation, and a thought for the day. Usually it’s something that I may need to remember about myself, heal, or learn more about.

One topic that has been popping up almost daily for the past year is that we ARE all Love.

The Hunt

Most of my life consisted of constant searching for someone to love me. I longed for another person to shower me with affection and give me their heart, their adoration, their love. I wanted them to give me what I couldn’t (and didn’t know how to) give myself.

And so, desperately searching for love and acceptance. I entered relationships and friendships with that sole underlying purpose.

However, as you can probably guess, they were co-dependent, toxic and unhealthy situations that further fueled my need and hunger for some sense of love. Because, obviously, they were entered from a place of lack and need, not a mutual understanding of our true selves and ultimate truth.

And therein lay the problem. No person could give me what I already am.

I AM. Two tiny words, yet I had no idea the tremendous power they hold. Nor did I realize at the time (or remember) my true nature.

The Healing

Numerous broken hearts later, I found myself caught up in a down-spiral of despair, loss of self, grief and declining health. I experienced several “dark nights of the soul.” However, years into this darkness, I started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

People showed up who walked with me for a short time on my healing journey.  Books would appear that led me onto an inner exploration far beyond where any novel could take me.

Healers appeared, and they were instrumental in assisting me on my path to emotional and physical healing. (This is why I am now a reiki practitioner.)

Some souls that emerged were also on their own journey of re-discovery of self and shared their insights of self awareness and hope for brighter days.

Spiritual leaders began to emerge, and I gradually embraced my hunger to evolve and embrace new truths, especially those about spirituality and love.

The Treasure

I discovered a treasure that was more valuable than gold.

That treasure was my truth. It was the discovery that I AM love. I AM life essence. I AM life source living through and as me.

I learned to surrender. I relaxed into the flow with the knowledge that I don’t need to search for love. I AM Love. I am that being that pulses with a healing light that can never be dimmed.

I no longer seek out an emotion called Love; I understand that it is me. I get to embody Love itself, and in doing so, I give myself what others cannot.

The best way we can love ourselves and others is to BE. To embrace our truths. And when it comes to relationships, the best gift we can give our partners is our whole, self, vulnerability and all. Yes, we can participate in actions that express our affection, but ultimately, we don’t GIVE love. We give ourselves AS love.

Love is our essence, our lifeblood. We don’t need to set out on a quest to search out and grasp that seemingly hard-to-reach emotion.

It’s all right here. Now. As you. As me.

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Why the World Needs You to Share Your Purpose


summit-2502261_1920Many of us have felt a calling to share our gifts, or purpose, with the world.

Yes, some enlightened beings and luminaries, brilliant authors and artists may come to mind. But we all have a purpose, no matter how mundane we feel it might be. (Hint, nothing of purpose is actually mundane or of lower worth than those who hold a title of “famous.”)

Each of us came here with a gift. We have a passion for what we love to do in life. It could be as simple as cooking gourmet meals for your family, or as complex as traveling the world fighting for human rights.

Each person is a unique expression. Our distinctive gifts all contribute to add color and complexity to this wonderful world.

Why should you (if you choose to) share your purpose and story with the world?

For one thing, you could have the solution to a long-standing problem or issue. Or, you could (even unbeknownst to you) inspire another person to share their gifts with those who need them. A permission slip, so to speak.

This is a wonderful time to step up, step out, and present humanity with our purposes and gifts. You may not know just how much you are needed or who is waiting to be inspired by you.

Do you know how to access your purpose? Do you know what it even is? Go deep within, find what you are passionate about.

Alternatively, your purpose could be a result of struggle or pain. As a friend has said to me several times, “Our mess is in our message.”

Another favorite of mine: “Our passion is in our pain.” Again, the life we’ve lived could truly impact that of another, we just didn’t know it then.

Go ahead, dig deep. The world is waiting.

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Upgrades and Updates!


Me Apr 2020 by gate

Good morning, afternoon, or evening!

It’s been while since I’ve posted anything; many changes have been happening, especially now since the entire planet is shifting.

This past month has been most enlightening, to say the least! It’s as if the entire planet is turning inside out.

However, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

On the contrary, even though many of us are having to deal with job losses, illness, or worse, there is still a silver lining that I’ve noticed.

Many of us have become more heart centered. We are seeing communities come together, and people are helping each other in ways not seen before.

It’s as if Mother Earth put us in time-out; some of us have time to regroup, meditate more, and go deep within to find a new sense of purpose and new sense of self.

There are some that are working even harder to get us through this trying time, and my gratitude goes out to each and every one of you!

For those who have lost friends and family members, I feel your sorrow at this difficult time, and my thoughts and healing energies go out to you. I will continue to hold space for all families feeling loss and fear and uncertainty.

My future posts will have more of an inspirational flavor. I’ve been going through quite a shift myself, and have put more focus on spiritual (not religious) endeavors.

I recall a message I received around 2005 during meditation. Two Native American elders came to me in a vision with a singular message: “Save the planet, save the children.”

(I didn’t do much with that command; instead I spent years healing myself and going through a few “dark nights of the soul.” {Talk about emotional rollercoaster rides!} I was able to emerge from the darkness with a clearer perspective of who I am, why I am here, and why I chose to experience those heartbreaking, soul shattering chapters.)

So, I will do just that. Time to stop procrastinating. My job now is to help heal, to raise energies, and to usher in the new higher dimensional frequencies; not to mention, sharing my stories along the way toward living my truth and living my purpose.

It’s been quite an exciting movement!

Thank you all for following me and supporting me; I do hope you continue to enjoy the posts, share them, and comment. I do love your feedback!

*I did add a couple widgets to the sidebar that link to my newly revamped website (which is now 90% finished); I’d be honored if you’d visit and let me know what you think!

Have a blessed day!

Becca