How to ReWrite Your Inner Dialogue


Inner dialogue photo

I don’t know about you, but I have an inner dialogue that pretty much chatters 24/7/365.

My mind is rarely quiet. In fact, there are diatribes, novels, essays, theses and editorials swimming around along with my creative ideas and grand dreams.

I had to learn to change my inner dialogue. The conversations I listened to and heeded at the time were not always from a state of consciousness; instead, they came from indwelling fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, and depression.

Often, we learn these stories and thoughts in childhood. Alternatively, we can learn these while in abusive relationships and in times of duress and anxiety. We fail to remember our true nature.

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not worthy.”

“He/she is right, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I am a failure.”

“I am weak.”

“I’m not pretty/handsome enough.”

And here is the kicker – the constant litany of negative self-talk creates a vicious cycle. Our less-than-positive conversations cause us to feel anxiety or depression. The anxiety or depression or anger causes us to re-feed our mind with the negative narrative. It’s a downward spiral.

To put it simply, your inner conversation is your ego having a conversation with yourself. (Click to Tweet) And when you are in survival mode, that is when your ego is in full swing.

Let’s face it – our egos love a good drama or two! It’s all about fight or flight. Oh yeah, mental fisticuffs! Now, that’s all good and well when one is truly in a dangerous situation. But when someone is stuck in fight or flight mode for weeks, months, even decades, not only does the physical health suffer, but so does the mental/emotional health.

How can we work to change our inner dialogue?

1. It takes awareness. We must be in the present. We have to pay attention to our thoughts on a consistent basis. Truly, I was surprised when I started this practice of being present and actually HEARD myself! The first day I practiced conscious attention, I was SHOCKED at my language. No wonder I felt unworthy, less-than, and downright terrified of being seen. It felt like a non-stop 24-hour reel that looped with the same tired, old, negative, self-abusive phrases.

Conscious presence does take some practice, and it will take some time…especially for someone who hasn’t exercised the “presence” muscle before.

2. Once you have noticed your thoughts, change them! I have often caught myself thinking something negative and would have to immediately tell myself, “Stop, rewind, cancel.” Then I replace the negative talk with something positive.

For example, a common phrase that I’d say to myself was “that was SO stupid!.” Now, I know I’m not stupid, but the was something that was ingrained in me for decades, either verbally or emotionally. But, as soon as I NOTICED that I said it, I’d replace it with, “Wow, that was a great learning experience!” or “Gee, that was an interesting idea/action.”

Once concept that has helped me is to remain curious. For example, “I wonder what the outcome of this will be if I think/feel that?” Or, “How can I turn this negative sentence into a positive one?”

3. Affirmations. If you are a fan of affirmations, you’ll love this step! This is simply a practice of using positive affirmations on a daily basis. They will increase your positive feelings and lift your energy. They don’t need to be lengthy or philosophical in nature. Just get into the habit of creating a positive inner language.

If you wish, you can write down affirmations that feel right to you. If you want to take it a step further, you can record yourself reciting positive affirmations and replay several times throughout the day.

Sometimes, I’ll go to YouTube and turn on affirmations and meditations to fall asleep to. One of my favorites is “I AM Affirmations by Hakim.” (Please show him some love by clicking on the link!)

4. Remember who you truly are. This is paramount, especially when it comes to healing. YOU are a Divine Being. YOU are the one who, through your language, thoughts, and feelings, can create or re-create the life you dream of. It all starts from within.

It’s not difficult to re-write our internal dialogue, but it does take practice, perseverance, and patience. Most of all, we get to practice being wholly present with ourselves.

Watch what happens when you start speaking a new language…you will be pleasantly surprised!

Becoming the Artist of Your Life


artist collage
You, as a Divine soul in a human body, are an artist, as well as Divine artwork.
You, operating in this human body, are the designer holding the paintbrush or the sculptor molding the clay. But what are you creating?
Is your life feeling like a black and white cartoon, devoid of color and depth? Or, is your life feeling like a lump of clay?
Oh, you’ve pushed, prodded, pulled, pinched, extruded, and thrown the clay in the hopes of building something beautiful, but the clay didn’t cooperate. Most likely, it was because the mind was taking over the artistic process.
Have you noticed that masterpieces are brought forth from the heart, and not necessarily the mind? Although the heart and mind must work cooperatively, the true artwork is from your center…your heart. (Click to tweet)
As artists (and we are all artists), we create from emotions. The energy from our feelings gives way to the motions of creation, no matter the artistic medium used.
Some of the most spectacular pieces of art are created from a place of pain, sorrow, rage, or fear. However, before those pieces could be created, the artist needed to feel. They needed to emerge from a state of numbness or stasis. They had to get to a point where they could transmute the energy into physical movements. They had to get to a point where they could transmute the energy into physical movements.
Those movements could in fact be painting, drawing, cooking, writing, meditating, singing or dancing. The point is, the energy needs to FLOW.
It is time to express. It is time to begin the journey beyond the mind. Harness the power inside you, for it is waiting to join this dance called life.
The time is now to bring your masterpiece alive.
I’d love to know how YOU are creating your masterpiece!
If you are unsure where to even start, or feel like you are in a rut or feel powerless, please leave a comment. You are not alone; I and our other readers are all here to support and encourage.
I see you, Artist.

Living With Purpose: A New Chapter


me summer bw

Every single one of us has a service and a purpose. Here lies an interesting fact: the messier our lives are/have been, the more we have to offer by way of service.

This means we’ve had more opportunities to learn, grow, and evolve. Now, that evolution never stops, but we don’t have to wait until we are at the end of our lives to say, “This is what I’ve learned and I’m ready to share with you.” Ultimately, every day there is something new to explore and learn from and grow from.

Sometimes we may find that our purpose is to be a voice for those who cannot speak. Our stories may mirror someone else’s in some aspects, and by speaking our own truths and living our truths we are giving others the opportunity to do the same.

This is where empathy and compassion play a huge part. Our experiences allow us to feel compassion for those who are also hurting and who feel they have lost their way. We can empathize with people who feel they have lost hope.

People want to feel safe, and there is a feeling of safety in knowing that an individual is not alone in their experiences because someone else has been through the same thing and has survived and healed and/or become empowered.

Empowerment is simply remembering who we are, living and speaking our truths, and living our purpose. By doing that, we remove the old stories that we’ve told ourselves about our past experiences that no longer serve us – stories and actions that we no longer need for survival because now we get to choose to thrive.

I asked a friend the other day, “Why would anyone want to listen to what I have to say, as messy as my life has been? Who am I to help others?” I was then reminded that my experiences, my voice, and my path of service is EXACTLY what someone is needing and looking for.

I was encouraged to remember who I am, why I am, what I am here for. I am exactly at a place in my own journey where I need to be. This is the next jumping point toward the next chapter in my life, which includes YOU, the reader of this blog post.

I always thought I had to know everything, do everything, and that my life had to be perfect before I could even attempt to live my purpose, share my story, and help others.

I have learned that it is more powerful when we can help people while in the midst of our own struggles. We are all playing this game of life together and in turn we get to teach each other.

When we are ready, when the pain of suppressing ourselves can no longer be borne, we get to choose to climb out of that dark cavern of fear, shame, unworthiness, guilt, anger, and frustration. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel those emotions again, but we can recognize that those are signs where we have more work to do, and we get to choose to heal (sometimes with the entire world watching)…so we might as well have fun while we are doing it.

Whether we are celebrating our successes or dealing with broken relationships, feeling despair and sorrow, bliss or whatever might be showing up, every single one of those situations creates a beautiful chapter in life.

In fact, I think the messier the better; that means there is more emotion involved, there is more color added to your picture. There is more contrast and depth.

For the longest time I didn’t know why I had to live this life I was living – a life of fear and self-loathing and feelings of unworthiness; feeling I wasn’t good enough or smart enough, and very fearful of anyone who was angry or had an angry countenance. I was afraid to skip school; I was afraid of doing anything bad. I was terrified of crossing the line.

I lived my entire life suppressing my truth, suppressing myself, and playing small because I didn’t want to make other people feel bad. I lived my life not speaking what I wanted to say, not expressing myself or not setting boundaries because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

I didn’t want to speak and have people think I wasn’t smart enough, to have them think I was stupid; I also didn’t want them to think I was smarter than they were, because that might make them feel less than. Suppressing all that created many of my health problems.

I’ve had shingles twice; I’ve experienced chronic bronchitis and hoarseness. The nine years I lived in Alaska I had pneumonia 1-2 times a year, and I’d often lose my voice because I wasn’t using it in the way that I should have been. I don’t remember ever having a month that was free of wheezing and feeling ill. The time for all that is over.

Through numerous dark nights of the soul (and I’ve had many), every time I came out of those dark places I felt more myself. I felt more of who I truly was. In a way, I regret waiting so long to be able to speak my truth and say what I wanted to say in the way I wanted to say it, or do what I wanted to do. However, when I look back, every single experience I had brought me to this point where I have less fear about speaking, sharing who I am, and why I do what I do.

I have felt the Universe physically pushing me, telling me that it’s time. The signs are everywhere…it is time. The biggest impetus, and the biggest sign that it’s time to live my purpose.

Today marks the next step in the journey.

I may flounder a bit on the way, but that’s good, because I’ve always said that I wanted to be a lifelong student and wanted to learn something new every day…and part of learning is stumbling (and picking myself back up again).

Whether I learn through my experiences (ugly or pretty), videos, books, mentors or clients, or pitfalls and backward steps and forward-moving baby steps, I will remember that it is all worthwhile if it means speaking my truth and living my purpose while serving others.

So, let’s get messy together, shall we?

Coming soon: I am developing a mastery course to complement my Reiki practice, and it will be available shortly. There will be some other projects in the works that will soon be revealed as well.

I’d be honored to have you join me on this journey!

Using Gratitude to Raise Your Vibration


gratitude-splash

Just for today, I will not worry 

Just for today, I will not be angry

Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings

Just for today, I will do my work honestly

Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing

Just for today, I will honor parents and elders

Mikao Usui

Reiki has 5 principles as its foundation. One of the principles, gratitude (I will give thanks for my many blessings), carries much impact.

From an energetic standpoint, gratitude can be a very strong force. Gratitude is a heart-based emotion. When we operate from our hearts…and this isn’t saying that we cannot use our minds…we come from the seat of our emotions, and this is often where our power comes from.

Because gratitude is a heart-based positive emotion, it raises our moods when we practice being in that state.

Not only can gratitude lift our mood, it can also raise our physical vibration. In fact, a grateful state can often be the catalyst for physical healing. Gratitude (from the heart) triggers a chemical reaction (in the brain), which then induces production of seratonin, oxytocin, and dopamine.

And the physical benefits? Increased blood flow, lower blood pressure, better sleep, more balance in the body, and a stronger immune system, to mention a few.

This is why I start my day with gratitude and the mantra above. I also begin each reiki session with gratitude, so that I can go into the session with a higher vibrational energy which benefits both myself AND my client.

When I feel a bit worried or stressed, I simply go back to this: Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.

I Admire The Strong Men


man-desat

I admire strong men who stand up for women.
I admire men who are feminists.
I admire men who aren’t afraid to show their soft side.
I admire the men who are strong enough to be vulnerable.
I admire men who encourage women to succeed, to grow, to evolve.
I admire men who walk BESIDE women.
I admire men who defend the rights of women to protect their own bodies.
I admire men who speak out for equality and diversity.
I admire men who allow women to speak just as loudly as they do.
I admire men who are intrigued by the workings of the feminine mind, men who jump in wholeheartedly into our pools of wild ideas and thought processes.
I admire men who choose to learn from women.

I admire men who are not afraid to cry and who are not afraid to ask for help.                           I admire men who want to be healed.                                                                                                         I admire men who know how to apologize and give thanks.

For all those men in my life who are supportive, encouraging, and empowering: I am grateful for you. It’s a joy to join in this dance with you.

The Divine Feminine Thanks You, Donald Trump


oval-mirror-png-flame

Dear Donald Trump and all your followers:

Thank you all for being transparent and showing us your pain and wounds.

 Thank you for the flaming racism, fascism, misogyny, xenophobia, greed, lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement. Thank you for the centuries of masculine imbalance. Thank you for allowing me to see that I am not the only one in need of healing.

 Thank you for being the catalyst that created a huge movement yesterday, and for awakening me further and reminding me of my purpose.

 You’ve fanned the fire with your harmful rhetoric and actions for far too long, and the divine feminine is here to help you and those you’ve harmed. Understand this, though, the Mother you’ve awakened deals in tough love and righteous anger, if need be. No longer will I be shunned, shamed, shouted down, walked upon, abused, lied to, or ignored.

 I am keeping control of my body. No longer will the patriarchal overlords tell me what I may or may not put into, nor remove from my own physical self ~ this beautiful diverse vehicle that allows me to be in your life in this moment of space and time.

 I watched and I felt the marches and movements Saturday, and they were a healing force following the day of your dark inauguration, that day when my soul was screaming, NO NO NO!

 I felt my heart open, I felt my phoenix/Eye of Horus tattoo above my breast burn, my own personal symbol of rebirth and power…I felt the hot tears flowing down my cheeks as I saw men, women, elders, children, people of all races and genders and occupations and orientations stand together globally, UNITED by one mission: to start the path to healing and to do what is right for ALL who inhabit this country and this planet.

 In a matter of 24 hours, my soul’s screams of NO! were transformed to a joyful YES! Why? Because…

 I am choosing to say yes to equality, to connectedness, to healing.

I am choosing to say yes to healthy conversation.

I am choosing to say yes to diversity and freedom.

I am choosing to say yes to vibrancy and life!

I am choosing to say yes to a healthy planet and healthy relationships.

I am choosing to say yes to loving who I want to love, HOW I want to love.

I am choosing to stand up and speak for what I believe in.

I am choosing to say yes to my continuing education and evolution.

I am choosing to be the voice for those who cannot speak for themselves.

 And I’m sorry you feel so frightened and insecure that you feel you cannot do the same.

 I watched the speeches yesterday, I watched women stand empowered, I watched men stand up for US and each other, and I, in my own little space, my body still not 100% healthy…my heart on fire, my loins bleeding the life blood that gives YOU life…I again became the Mother, the one who will, if I have to, take you to the woodshed or wipe your tears and tell you that you will be ok.

 I am your mirror. But deep down you already know that. You know it because you can see yourself in me, and what you see in my visage is what you hate and fear in yourself. That is why you abuse me, sexually assault me, malign me, ignore me, shame me, call me “less than,” treat me as if I were stupid, call me terrible names. But it was never about me, was it?

 From this moment on, I WILL be heard, seen, felt, and moved like never before.

 I do not fear you. I do not fear the rules or laws you may try to impose to harm me or keep me prisoner; rules that you think keep you strong and powerful.

 I do not fear your anger or wrath.

 I am grateful for you, because without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have had to go through my own trials and wouldn’t have remembered my own power.

 I know who you are. I remember. Let me help YOU remember.

 I will be the fire that will be held to your feet. I will hold you accountable for your words and actions, and I will do the same for myself. I will be the blazing mirror that will be either your healing or your destruction, and the soothing balm for your soul letting you know you are ok.

 You can lean in and allow me to assist you, or not. We can all create a new dance that enables us to evolve and rise together. Or you can let me dance solo; it matters not to me because no matter what you say or do, I will always be the best I can be.

 Now you get to choose. Be consumed by my fire and rise like the phoenix from the ashes, releasing all that does not serve or assist in your own healing and growth…or get out of the way.

 Your move…your choice.

With love,

Becca, The Awakened Mother/Divine Feminine

“Love is the central flame of the Universe, nay, the very fire itself.”

Ernest Holmes

The Orlando Tragedy: How It Can Be a Catalyst for Healing


 

Orlando shooting victims mourning

 

Again, in the very recent past, we’ve witnessed another horrific loss of human lives because of a single person’s own inner pain; a person who chose to end the lives of forty-nine precious souls in one of the most violent ways possible. Precious souls that were children, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles. Precious souls who wanted to live their truths and live happily.

And, again, we’ve seen the divisiveness nationwide because of that action.

On one side we see people (many of them ministers, political, and authority figures) jubilant over the deaths of people they deemed “unholy” or “dirty” or “perverted.”  On the other, we witness people mourning complete strangers, who knew that they were perfect as they were and were loved and cherished.

It pains me to see that many choose to take sides, deeming those different from themselves as the “other.”

No, there is no “other.” We all bleed red. We all feel joy and pain. We ALL wish to live in peace, experience happiness, and realize our dreams.

However, there are many who react from a place of fear because they do not KNOW the “other.” They are taught that the “others” are wrong, too different, weird, depraved, immoral, sinful.

Fear is the great divider. It has been so for ages.

Have you noticed that after tragic events, two situations emerge?

On one hand, people will lash out from pain, rage, and fear, and even victimhood, acting and speaking in ways that attack their fellow human beings. On the other, there will be those who will open their hearts and minds and look for ways to use the tragedy as a catalyst for healing.

Often, the way to mend a deep wound is to open it, release the poison, and then allow it to heal.

I know from personal experience that the cutting open of old emotional wounds feels excruciating, and I’ve been in the deepest pits of hell. I’ve been triggered in ways that shattered my beliefs about myself and others. And then, I was able to rise above and see my truth, allowing myself to mend my own deepest wounds.

I wish death on no one, no matter what color they are, what religion they practice (or don’t practice), or their sexual identity. I wish that our brothers and sisters, from the past and even now in the present, never had to deal with being shot, tortured, spat upon, discriminated against, hanged, burned, fired from their jobs, disowned by family, and being treated “less than.” No precious human soul should have to experience that.

And  yet, it is still happening.

In the last couple days, I was witness to a dear friend of mine being attacked for posting something that another took the wrong way. It was all related to the Orlando shooting. I could feel my friend’s shock at the terrible attack, and yet, I understood and felt the other person’s pain and anguish. This person could have lost loved ones in that shooting or been shot themselves.

However, this situation I witnessed could have been avoided if the one who attacked had stopped a moment, taken a breath, and asked for a polite discourse so that they could each discuss their feelings and put aside any misunderstandings.

I see too many putting their energy into dividing our country, into destroying the lives of their brothers and sisters. Yes, brothers and sisters. We all have heritages, we all are different races. But we are also part of one race: the Human Race.

I would like to see no more senseless killing. No more discrimination. No more flirting with fear-mongering. No more addiction to drama.

How would I feel if it were one of my children or friends who had died in Orlando? I’d feel devastated. I also would want to know what inner pain, what atrocities did the shooter live with to cause him to react in such a devastating way?

Too often, reactionary attacks have replaced thoughtful responses, and this is the time to come together, as a nation, as individuals, and loving human beings to keep our minds and hearts open, to accept every soul as the precious life he/she is, to understand that diversity is beautiful. To step out of the fearful path of destruction. To reach out and connect in loving, yet firm approaches. NOT allowing others to harm, yet understanding that they are doing so from their own inner pain.

Forty-nine graves have just been added to the hundreds of thousands, even millions of graves of those throughout history, of all races, orientations, and religions who died at the hands of perpetrators who themselves lived in their own personal hells.

Let’s not let the Orlando tragedy be for naught. Let’s use this as a time to regroup, reflect, and remember that hurt people hurt people. We MUST find a way to facilitate healing…and that begins with healing ourselves.