Creating Treasures from Trauma


treasure-boxThat title caught your eye, didn’t it?

No, I’m not making light of anyone’s personal traumas. However, I invite you to look into the gifts that trauma or painful situations bring.

When an animal has passed on, it’s hide is used to create a drum. Shamanic drums, for example, are created from hides that have been blessed (and a prayer or chant of gratitude is given to the animal, as well as to the other materials involved).

The animal’s passing, whether intentional or not, created a beautiful instrument that would be used in spiritual and healing rituals. When I envision this, I see the animal’s essence connecting to the divine and creating a healing vibration, felt physically and spiritually.

Consider the oyster. When an irritant works its way inside the shell, the oyster will protect itself by secreting layers of nacre onto the irritant. It takes a while, it’s a process, but the end result is a beautiful pearl.

But what about humanity? Where can we find the treasures from our own traumas? (Click to Tweet)

Personally, I can tell you that traumatic situations are not easy, nor comfortable. Your life has been turned upside down and you don’t know which way you are going. You feel lost, scared, and all you can see around you is a dark tunnel in which you feel every painful emotion like a knife in the heart…and you have no idea when it will stop.

You lose your balance. You’ve lost all sense of purpose. You can’t even see your next step. You shout at the powers that be, “WHY!??!!” Your soul seems to be lost in a constant scream of despair.

You wonder what you will do now. Sometimes you stumble blindly, sometimes you fall. Sometimes you are able to pick yourself back up. (And when you can’t, someone usually shows up to help you.)

But then, when you least expect it, a little sliver of light appears. It gradually (over time) grows larger and larger. You find that you had the strength to stand after all. Then, you realize that there are moments appearing that spark a little joy.

Teachers (in all forms) appear. They could be humans, or animals, or even Divine beings. Additionally, teachers appear in the form of art, books and music.

In fact, you could be sitting at a coffee shop and overhear a particularly enlightening conversation or phrase that is just what you needed to hear at that moment.

What are the treasures, then?

Ahhh, here’s the beauty of alchemy. I learned to turn: fear into courage

anger into calmness

self doubt into empowerment

sadness into joy

rejection into self-love

despair into faith

It didn’t happen overnight. It took years, actually. Many years.

However, the most prized treasure I received was the ability to be grateful for every moment I lived in that dark underbelly of the beast. Gratitude for every baby step I took, for every slip and fall, and gratitude for the strength that I found inside me.

I even found gratitude for every abuse heaped upon me and every awful thing said or done to me. Gratitude even toward those strangers who thought that I deserved to be treated less than the extraordinary being that I AM.

No matter what you may be going through at this time, know that treasures abound, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

What is in YOUR treasure box?

There’s No Need to Look for Love, We ARE Love


love recoloredI begin each day with some reading, meditation, and a thought for the day. Usually it’s something that I may need to remember about myself, heal, or learn more about.

One topic that has been popping up almost daily for the past year is that we ARE all Love.

The Hunt

Most of my life consisted of constant searching for someone to love me. I longed for another person to shower me with affection and give me their heart, their adoration, their love. I wanted them to give me what I couldn’t (and didn’t know how to) give myself.

And so, desperately searching for love and acceptance. I entered relationships and friendships with that sole underlying purpose.

However, as you can probably guess, they were co-dependent, toxic and unhealthy situations that further fueled my need and hunger for some sense of love. Because, obviously, they were entered from a place of lack and need, not a mutual understanding of our true selves and ultimate truth.

And therein lay the problem. No person could give me what I already am.

I AM. Two tiny words, yet I had no idea the tremendous power they hold. Nor did I realize at the time (or remember) my true nature.

The Healing

Numerous broken hearts later, I found myself caught up in a down-spiral of despair, loss of self, grief and declining health. I experienced several “dark nights of the soul.” However, years into this darkness, I started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

People showed up who walked with me for a short time on my healing journey.  Books would appear that led me onto an inner exploration far beyond where any novel could take me.

Healers appeared, and they were instrumental in assisting me on my path to emotional and physical healing. (This is why I am now a reiki practitioner.)

Some souls that emerged were also on their own journey of re-discovery of self and shared their insights of self awareness and hope for brighter days.

Spiritual leaders began to emerge, and I gradually embraced my hunger to evolve and embrace new truths, especially those about spirituality and love.

The Treasure

I discovered a treasure that was more valuable than gold.

That treasure was my truth. It was the discovery that I AM love. I AM life essence. I AM life source living through and as me.

I learned to surrender. I relaxed into the flow with the knowledge that I don’t need to search for love. I AM Love. I am that being that pulses with a healing light that can never be dimmed.

I no longer seek out an emotion called Love; I understand that it is me. I get to embody Love itself, and in doing so, I give myself what others cannot.

The best way we can love ourselves and others is to BE. To embrace our truths. And when it comes to relationships, the best gift we can give our partners is our whole, self, vulnerability and all. Yes, we can participate in actions that express our affection, but ultimately, we don’t GIVE love. We give ourselves AS love.

Love is our essence, our lifeblood. We don’t need to set out on a quest to search out and grasp that seemingly hard-to-reach emotion.

It’s all right here. Now. As you. As me.

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